Day 2

Halloween was never my mom's favorite holiday till the makers of Snow Village started making Halloween stuff.  Then, she loved it.

Growing up, I only vaguely remember going out and trick or treating.  What I remember crystal clear is dumping the candy on the floor of our living room and my mom sifting through to make sure there were no razor blades in any of the candy bars.

That I remember.

So it's odd to me that Blake is like the Halloween king.  He loves this day and dresses up with gusto.  Evan did too, but not the same way Blake loves

it.  When he asked me Tuesday if he could have kids over, I couldn't say no.

Even when Toby was chirping in the background about all the rain we were getting.  100% chance of rain... possibly a thunder storm.  Did you see all the green coming our way?

But I kindly ignored him, because I can't say no to things like this that I know Blake will remember when he's a dad.  He'll remember that we let him make a big deal about it, simply because he loved it.

He'll remember Halloween and all the goofy costumes he thought up the day before... and playing in the rain... and laughing so hard in the basement I could only imagine what they were doing.

Day 2:  Today, I am grateful for being a mom.  And not just a mom, but a mom who tries really hard to make sure they are going to have memories in the future.  I want them to look back someday and know that nothing was ever a sacrifice because it brought me just as much joy.

Today I got to bake, and fuss over a group of boys who sometimes don't want their moms around.  I know this time goes fast.  I've seen it happen with Evan... poof, he's 6'2 and all hair.  It seems like I spent so much time wanting him to grow up, and now I just want them to want their mom every now and again.  Today I actually got to do that again.

And it won't be until after he goes to bed that I'll look for the razor blades in the candy.

Or maybe just the stray Payday bar....

Direction

How many of you find yourself wandering around through life, and realize that days, sometimes weeks, go by and you have no idea how that happened?

Sometimes you write down the date and think, how in the hell did another month pass me by?

The busier we are, the faster time flies, because we are just getting through it instead of living it. We're not paying attention to what is going on around us simply because we don't have time to. When we have a free moment, we're on Facebook, twitter, or Pinning what we want our lives to really be like.

Twenty-One days from today our first events will be starting for Mids.  I can't even wrap my brain around the amount of work I will put in getting ready for that week, and yet, I sit here right now and I'm calm.  I'm tired of living my life through events and waiting till the next one is over.  One thing I've learned over the past few years is that there will always be another event around the corner, so you might as well savor what you can when you can.

I know I say that now... you may have to remind me in a couple weeks :)

So, I started thinking that I'll need something to keep me sane... something to keep me on my path, so I don't fall into the black hole of work despair.  And I figured that the best way, my favorite way, is through gratitude.  The fact that it's almost November is just good timing divine intervention.

Day 1:  Today I am grateful that I have the day off, because I know that leading up to the event I won't.  Today, I can relax with a cup of coffee and write about things that make me happy.  I can fight with Goldie who will get the chair next to the fire (she's winning right now), and the only thing I really need to shower for is book club later today.  I can relax knowing that the past week was a complete success with the start of our biggest learn to skate session in years.  I can bake, and watch Y&R, and not worry about anything.  I can smile with the fact that when I asked for help this week, it was given to me.

Basically, this is as good as it gets right now...

I hope today finds you in a good place too!

Happy Wednesday.

In the Middle

Does this give you any indication of my mindset lately?  How about this and the fact I haven't written in weeks?  

I am not afraid to say that right now I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere, however, I am hopeful that this is exactly where I will find what I need.  I know the equation of work + no writing = someone I don't want to be, but sometimes we really don't have that many choices.  We just have to muddle through.  I'm not making excuses, it's just that I don't have a creative thought in my head, mostly because work is a little intense lately and will be for at least the next five weeks.

I have hope that this next month will be like a spotlight on what I do want in my life.  Does that make sense?  It's like sometimes you just have to sit in the middle of nowhere for a while to realize that isn't where you want to be.... and suddenly where to want to be and what you want to be doing becomes crystal clear.

There's a few authors I follow on Facebook, and I'm not sure that's a good thing or a bad thing anymore.  I read their posts and become quite envious of their lives, and while somedays it motivates me to write, there are other days I sink a little thinking I'll never get there.   And then I remember...

I'm in the middle of nowhere.

And that's okay... I've been here before.  I am learning to find gratitude here because I know something good will come from this, whether it's clarity or creativity.  Something good always comes out of it.

I have faith.

Hope you're all well.  

Happy Weekend!

#positivity

"Life is simple.  Your life is made up of only two kinds of things - positive things and negative things. ~The Power

Perhaps it's because I've been re-reading The Power, again, and trying to keep everything in life in perspective.  

Trying to see the big picture if you will.

But the more I try and the harder I look, the angrier people seem to be around me.  It's as if no one is happy anymore, and it's downright exhausting to stay positive in a negative world.  

It makes me wish I were a turtle and had a shell to hide from the world at times.  

So I thought that maybe all of us needed a wake up post and reminders that we are only here for a short time.  We really ought to find the good in life and let the rest of it roll off our backs.

Pay it forward.

Savor a meal.

Text something funny.

Read something.

Pin a happy quote.  Make it your desktop background.

Take an Instagram.

Make a playlist.

Go for a walk.

Breathe.

Watch Modern Family

I know stuff is still going to happen to us daily, hourly even, but keeping our focus on what's good instead of what's bad should be your only goal tomorrow. 

And then the next day.

And then the next....

You see the pattern?  

Am I writing the same post over and over again with different words and pictures?  Probably, but I will continue till we all can see what is important.  Until we understand.

What will be your #positivity moment today?

And if that doesn't convince you, maybe this video will....  enjoy :)

Fall

I've had one of those weeks I'd rather forget.  More back issues.  More coughing again.  No sleep.  You know the pattern by now.  Its as if this roller coaster I'm on will try to see how low it can go before it rises back up from the bottom of the hill.

But I know this about life:  rock bottom is just a strong foundation.  Thank you J.K. Rowling for that analogy... I say it to myself daily.

And it's funny, when I get to the bottom of the hill any more, I have less and less patience for it.  I immediately start looking for ways to get out of the hole and how I can fix what really needs healing.  I've done this long enough to know it's not really about the back pain.  There's other stuff going on and I need to start paying attention to what is really going on in my life.  I need to pay attention to my self.

Shocking, I know.

So just like the season I am going to make some changes in my life to see if it will help keep me upright.  Nothing too major, but at this point, I need to work on my health, because I don't want to be that old mom that can't do anything with her kids anymore.  In my head, I'm still fourteen.  In my body, I'm seventy... with emphysema.

I believe it all starts in our own head and how we see the world.  It's either positive or it's negative, and I'm not sure there is any in between when it comes to this.  So I may be uncomfortable sitting here, and I may be coughing like it's my last day, but I have a lovely glass of wine and Revenge will be on soon.  It's all about finding the good in any situation, and if you can't then you need to change the situation.  I know this isn't my natural state, but that's part of what I'm working on.  There's something to be said for rose-colored glasses.

So I will leave you with this tonight, and I hope it finds you somewhere cozy and warm.

"Here's what I tell myself now. That it's vital to learn how to make the best of things. That there is no tenderness without bravery. That if things hadn't been so bad they could never have gotten so good. And that it's always better to have what you have than to get what you wanted. Except for this: Every now and then, when you are impossibly lucky you rise above yourself-and get both."  
~ Katherine Center

Happy Sunday!