Friday, August 22, 2014

What do you think?

Someday, I think this is what is going to be put on my tombstone.

What do you think?

At what point did I stop believing that my own opinions, likes, and dislikes were all that I needed for a better life?  A happier and more relaxed life.  I am driven my public approval and acceptance, and no, I am not proud of that fact.

And then I came across this quote this morning.


And it's not until recently that I understood that I have years of unfinished projects, writings, and DIY's all because I thought someone might like that I was doing it.  Even on here, I have found myself not wanting to write as much because I'm not entirely sure anyone is reading.  Or writing more because I might have had a lot of views on a particular day.

Yes, I know YOU are reading, but does anyone else really care what I have to say?  And now for the bitter pill.... should it matter what anyone else thinks or says?

I was talking about a situation at the rink yesterday with one of our front desk staff, and at one point she said, "Well, why would you care what she thinks?"  It hit me, that I was worried about the opinion of someone I didn't even respect because of my desperate need to be liked.

Here is how bad it can get...

  • I have a hard time relaxing at home because I wonder what so-and-so would think if they knew I was watching Friday Night Lights for the 4th hour in a row.
  • I'm not always honest with people for fear that my opinion would lead them to think I was really crazy.  
  • I think my depression is sometimes linked to the fact that I'm a people-pleaser and driven by what others need.  That fact alone makes it difficult to get out of bed in the morning.
  • I'm never really sure if I love something until I finish it.  If I finish a project, yes... If it's sitting in a documents folder, no.
  • Never really trusting your own opinion hold you back from taking chances and trying new things.  Or sending query letters.
I literally could go on and on.  So much of who I am is wrapped up in what I believe others think, and I HATE  it.  Hate is a strong word, but I am using it (with the trifecta of formatting no less), because I feel that at some point I need to break free from caring what others think.

Will this happen over night?  Probably not, but I do know that little changes will add up to a big difference.  I already started this week by choosing to say no to someone and owning what I wanted.

I know I'm not alone in this battle.  Many of us are guilty of this to some extent, but maybe we can start to figure out what is really important to us and roll with that.  Figure out what you love.  Figure out what you hate.  And figure out whose opinion you can really trust... and others, not so much.

Let the bad stuff go.  It can't effect you if you don't let it.

Happy Friday!







You might also like: