Nothing

Nothing.

Today, I am thankful for nothing... but that's not how it sounds.

Nothing to do.

No where to be.

No one in the house.... mostly because I kicked them out.

I have a glass of wine, and The Notebook is on.

Basically, this is perfection.

I haven't had a whole lot of nothing in my life lately, so this is one of those nights I'm trying to relax.  And so I write, because I feel somewhat guilty for not keeping this up as much as I'd like.

Yes, that's considered relaxing for me.  To say I'm wound tightly is an understatement lately.  And by lately, I mean always.  Does anyone else have this problem?  I know the main problem is I work to make money, but what I want to do is write.  I want to be a perfect mother (an oxymoron if you ask me), and I also want to lose weight.  Is it possible to be everything to everyone, including myself, and still get what I want?

Writing a novel is a lot like learning to walk or even to skate for that matter.  One step at a time.  One paragraph, one sentence, one word at a time.  And soon, you have chapters, and characters, and more story lines than I know what to do with.  Running a 5k starts also by taking one step at at time.  Being a good parent is taking one decision at a time.

For those of you who know me, patience is not exactly my strongest of traits.  I don't want to take one step, I want it done now.  I want the book done (and perfectly so I don't have revisions), I want to jump out and run thirty minutes straight, and I want my kids to not only be their charming selves, but excellent student athletes as well.

I suppose this is how we learn to grow.  We go against the grain of what we know, what feels right, and soon we're doing the things we've only dreamed about.  Sometimes it takes a nudge.  Other times it takes a shove.  We have to learn to trust the process and let things unravel, no matter how slow, and especially when it feels like we're doing everything completely wrong.

I know I'm not the only one in this wicked world wondering how they will get through the next day.  We get up and push through each day, because our lives would not be complete without the dreams.

But every now and then you have to find some time to do nothing... even if it's not really nothing at all.

Have a fabulous week friends!