Fall

I've had one of those weeks I'd rather forget.  More back issues.  More coughing again.  No sleep.  You know the pattern by now.  Its as if this roller coaster I'm on will try to see how low it can go before it rises back up from the bottom of the hill.

But I know this about life:  rock bottom is just a strong foundation.  Thank you J.K. Rowling for that analogy... I say it to myself daily.

And it's funny, when I get to the bottom of the hill any more, I have less and less patience for it.  I immediately start looking for ways to get out of the hole and how I can fix what really needs healing.  I've done this long enough to know it's not really about the back pain.  There's other stuff going on and I need to start paying attention to what is really going on in my life.  I need to pay attention to my self.

Shocking, I know.

So just like the season I am going to make some changes in my life to see if it will help keep me upright.  Nothing too major, but at this point, I need to work on my health, because I don't want to be that old mom that can't do anything with her kids anymore.  In my head, I'm still fourteen.  In my body, I'm seventy... with emphysema.

I believe it all starts in our own head and how we see the world.  It's either positive or it's negative, and I'm not sure there is any in between when it comes to this.  So I may be uncomfortable sitting here, and I may be coughing like it's my last day, but I have a lovely glass of wine and Revenge will be on soon.  It's all about finding the good in any situation, and if you can't then you need to change the situation.  I know this isn't my natural state, but that's part of what I'm working on.  There's something to be said for rose-colored glasses.

So I will leave you with this tonight, and I hope it finds you somewhere cozy and warm.

"Here's what I tell myself now. That it's vital to learn how to make the best of things. That there is no tenderness without bravery. That if things hadn't been so bad they could never have gotten so good. And that it's always better to have what you have than to get what you wanted. Except for this: Every now and then, when you are impossibly lucky you rise above yourself-and get both."  
~ Katherine Center

Happy Sunday!