As if a future time like that even existed.
I find myself lately wondering where the time has even gone. Forget about the future... what happened to the past? Was I so busy with kids and daily life, that I didn't notice that time was flying by? I have pictures, so many pictures, that have documented that we indeed gave the kids a happy childhood, but somehow that part of our life is gone, and everything is different now.
The life I'm in right now seems to be one that is by default. One that wasn't necessarily a vision of mine, but rather one that I have been bullied into (by myself, of course). When you're in the hustle and bustle of "busy life" you merely get through the days, exhausted, drained, and grateful for the bed at night. You don't dream of something different, because that would seem ungrateful, and no one ever wants to be ungrateful when it comes to family life.
Being a mom requires you to put everyone else first, and we do that with pride. It's a badge of honor to be baking at midnight because someone forgot to tell you they are having a class party.
Or waiting in line to buy an entire homeroom breakfast burritos at Mickey D's.
Or sewing together the shoulder pads five times in a month.
Or the countless trips to school and back, everyday for 12+ years.
Or sitting in doctor's offices, hospitals, and in rocking chairs in the middle of the night.
We've all done it and should be proud.However, it's all changing now, and we have to find our selves again. The one who used to dream about life and the pursuit of goals. The one who wants more than just a job to pay the bills, but something that feels like a calling.
And maybe it's just me, but I don't think so.
I am restless and feeling like this time is nearing the end, and something bigger (and hopefully better) is on the horizon. Now is the time to maybe dust off the journal and start writing about what we really want our lives to look like. What does the perfect day look like on paper?
Write it down.
And no, it shouldn't be drinking and baking all day. I may or may not have had to cross that one out. The main fact is some of us are hiding behind our daily life because you forgot how to dream. I know I was. But that has changed, and I'm in full-on reinvention mode. I am trying new things. Trying, for the first time in my life, to ignore what I perceive others are thinking about me, and just doing things that belong on a grateful list.
Which I write every day.
Word.
I know this isn't for everyone, and we all have a pace we're comfortable with, but if you're the tiniest bit restless like I am, then follow along. I haven't been ignoring this blog, but rather, a bit uninspired to write the same stuff over and over again.
I finally feel like I have something to say to you again, and I hope you'll be listening.
Happy Wednesday :)
