Flexibility, Part 2

It's no secret I have a love/hate relationship with my Bikram Yoga.  Everyone who practices says you have to give it time... Five classes, they say is the magic number when you stop wishing you were in an igloo the entire time you're in there.

Well, I'm here to tell you that if I were to base it on my 5th class, I probably wouldn't go back.

It was hell.

Literally.

And crowded, and long, and I wanted anything other than to be there.

Then I sat outside the door after class, blinking back tears, when the teacher tried to talk me off the ledge.  It only made me want to cry more.  I cannot remember ever feeling like this about any exercise other than when I was a kid, skating.

That was the hate part.

Then, the day after, I didn't have time to go in so I just did a yoga video at home.  And it was then and there that I realized that yoga had invaded my brain, and I would probably never do anything again without focusing intensely on my breath.

I finished the video with a new outlook about the five classes I had accomplished (and for anyone who has ever done even one class, you understand the meaning of accomplishment with new eyes).  The video is hard, but certainly nothing like what I had been through in the past couple weeks.  When I was done, I realized that I had gained much more than physical strength during those 450 minutes of yoga:  I was mentally stronger than I was two weeks ago, and that's saying a lot after 10 months of winter.

So I thought I'd give you the Top 5 things Bikram Yoga has taught me:

1. I am stronger than I think.  This class will break you down in the first ten minutes if you don't continually tell yourself that you just need to get through the next exercise.  And then the next one...
2. Being perfect at something anything is just an illusion.  Don't get me wrong - I don't think I'm perfect at anything, but I tend to stay in the safe zone when it comes to working out (and life).  Walking, running, elliptical... nothing that is going to teach me anything.  And having spent the majority of my life on skates, that really isn't a challenge either.  It's good for me to fail miserably at something like I did in my 5th class.
3. I can pretty much get through anything, one breath at a time.  This practice should be mandatory for women considering getting pregnant.
4. Focusing on one point is the single greatest skill you can acquire to learn balance.  Right now I'm focusing on a glass of wine.  Life is about balance, and that is sometimes found in a glass.  No judging.
5. I don't give up easily.  Even though I usually think of myself as the queen of starting things, I am learning to finish things too.  I don't like letting myself down, and have figured out what things are really important to me.  Those are the things I'm finishing.  I'm a finisher :)

I know that I have easily sweated out my body weight in this last two weeks, and I also know that I will go back again and again.  In a year that is about flexibility, I am learning so much more... but I guess that was the point all along.

I hope you all have a happy weekend!

Flexible

flex·i·ble

adjective  1.  capable of bending easily without breaking.

synonyms: pliable, supple, bendable, pliant, plastic;

After the last three weeks, this is the word I have come up with that will be my focus for the year.

Flexible.

And yes, I mean to study, learn, and live out this word in both the figurative and literal sense of the definition.

For years I have had yoga in the back of my mind.  It is just one of those things, like running, that I never thought I could do.

I try.
I'm really bad.
I wake up really sore.
And I stop.

But I believe the whole theory behind yoga is to break down that resistant thought pattern so you can get to the other side.  The side that is less rigid, stiff, and uncompromising.

The side that allows more creative thinking.

The side that remembers that everything is going to be okay no matter what.

The side that bends with the ups and downs of life.

The ironic part is you have to let go of everything - all your patterns and stubborn ways - to get to that side, but when you do, it can be more comforting than a bowl of popcorn and binge watching Scandal all night.

Who am I kidding?  Nothing is more comforting than popcorn and Scandal.

But you know what I mean.  

Bottom line is this:  I need - crave - flexibility in my life.  I need to not feel like my body is going to fall apart at any given moment.  I need to remember that as a parent, it's not always black and white.  I need to bend with the flow of life and stop breaking with every strong wind (like a tree branch over an electric wire). 

Couldn't resist.

So there you have my goal for the year.  

I know it comes to you a little later than expected, but maybe I'll be teaching you flexibility as well this year :)

What is your word for the year?  Make it a good one....

Happy Friday!