Relax

Quick!  Raise your hand right now if you are utterly and completely relaxed.

........

Don't worry.  I kinda knew no one would run the risk of raising their hand, looking like a ding-dong in front of others.  How do I know this?  Because none of us are relaxed.

Not a single one.

I'm not sure any of us would know what relaxing was if it hit us in the face.  Many of us are given pockets of time, unscheduled - the almighty white-space in our calendars - and we squander it away because we don't want to look like we're not doing something productive.  Productive is a word that deserves an ass-kicking some days.  We have to fill that time with a quick load of laundry or emptying the dish washer instead of doing something that would make us feel better.

Again, I know this because I have made it my life's quest to fill up the white space.  I procrastinate relaxing because I don't want to look like I'm not working hard enough.

What the hell is that about?  And who exactly am I trying to impress?

I don't have these answers yet, but I do intend to "research" relaxing today and see what truly is relaxing, and what I think relaxing looks like to others.  There's a big difference, and the true benefits of having some down time will appear when you are using it wisely.

It's Cinco de Mayo today, and I think we could all use a siesta at some point today.

And then a margarita.

I hope you all have a relaxing day.

Home

“Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” 

~ Sarah Dessen

Seventeen years ago today, we moved into our home.  

Our shelter.

Our sacred place.

Our haven.

This home has been such a part of our lives, and I can't ever imagine raising our kids anywhere else.  Would we like more space?  Sure, but I'm not willing (or able) to move just yet.  I remember vividly the first time I walked into our home, and I just knew.  

I knew it was going to be our home the second  I walked into the kitchen and saw the bar and the door to the back yard.   My mom had driven me by the house and I called the agent to see if we could walk through before the open house.  She met us there and I walked in and knew.  My mom did too.  It was one of those moments you didn't question... you just made the offer of what they were asking so no one else could outbid you.  

I remember moving in and my sister putting all the kitchen stuff away...

I remember my mom making several trips from our condo with all the stuff that she didn't want the movers to take...

I remember all the flowering crab apple trees were in bloom on the day we moved in....

I remember ordering pizza on the first night, and sleeping in our room for the first time.

This home has seen us through the most amazing times:  Pregnancies, new jobs, pre-school, and pets.  It has also seen us through the worst of times:  miscarriages, death, tantrums, and family business.

This much I know is true:  our house is our home, and at the end of the day, it is the one place that will bring us comfort.  I can still be calmed down by bringing my laptop to the big chair in the dining room and writing, usually with something baking in the oven.

Every.  Single.  Time.  

I don't know if we'll be here forever (we might win the lotto someday!), but I do know that I will be eternally grateful for the time we've had in our home.  My kids and their messy rooms will remember the family dinners, the pets, bedrooms painted in hockey colors, and the xBox in the basement.  

They'll remember the cookies.

They'll remember the feeling that being home meant everything would be okay, no matter what.

At least I hope they do.  

Happy May Day!

Linda's Top Ten

So I needed a little inspiration to get into the writing tonight, and thought to myself... It's Ping's Birthday!  We should celebrate the day she was born!

I have my Spotify playlist for The Lucky One playing, because that was one happy memory, and here we go...

1. The first time I ever talked to her was bonding over our extremely sad kindergarten boys who weren't quite ready to go to school all day.  We both left our crying children in the classroom and we cried in the parking lot.
2. She can make me laugh with just a look.  Usually that look is saying WTF?
3. We like love the same books.  And movies.  And tv shows.
4. For a beautiful year we were both addicted to Criminal Minds to the extent that we could text a quote from a character and know which episode it was.  "Charcoal socks..."
5. She once sent me an email with the subject line BALLS.  For the next two years that was her nickname.
6. We like and dislike the same people.  
7. She may not agree with me, but I am hoping to be in-laws with her someday.
8. She supports everything I do... work (she comes to shows and competitions), writing (I have 2 followers... and she's both of them), life (she just gets me).
9. She answers that call when I just need to tell her about the cute Starbucks guy.  Then she goes and gets a coffee just to see him too.
10. For my birthday 3 years ago, she painstakingly printed every post I had ever written on my first blog.  A year after that, Blake deleted it, but I still had the majority of my writings.  I'm not sure she will ever understand how perfect that gift was, and still is.  

I could go on and on, but I will leave you with this picture taken last year in Florida.  Thank you for being my friend, Ping... I love you like a sister!  Hope you had a great day...

Happiness is...

Letting go.

Letting go of things that bug you and ruin your day, and remembering things that make you smile.

Happiness is also learning to be kind to yourself.

Baby steps.

No, this is not a haiku.

Here, watch this instead.  Apparently making videos is also on my list of things that make me happier.

Happy Thursday!

That Sucks

I'm having one of those weeks.  You know.... when you have a week where it feels like every time you turn around you're saying, "That sucks."

Between the rain, two skinned knees (don't ask... but it's not that), awkward conversations, and people who make bad decisions, I've been feeling somewhat ungrateful all day.  I did make a list of gratefuls while waiting for Blake to get out of school, but it didn't turn me around like it usually does.

I did my nails.
I made bbq chicken pizza.
I've eaten half of the chocolate pretzel thingys I made for Evan's team party.
His game was cancelled, thankfully.
I took a nap for God's sake.

The only thing making me smile is my favorites list on Spotify and this... Writing to you.  I'm not sure why, but this is the first lifting of my mood I've had all day.

This was also sent to me today, and I have to admit it makes me smile too.

Why it took me all day to get to you I have no idea.  I know my book is important to me, but so is this, and sometimes you just need to remind me.

We are half-way through the week and to quote my mom, "This too shall pass."

Indeed.

Happy Wednesday Friends.

The Dream

As I was getting ready this morning, I had a thought...

I really hate going to work.

Really original, right?  And I kept thinking about what it would take for me to not go to work anymore.  Here is my list:

1.  The rink could burn down.  But then I'd just be out of a job and STRESSED!

2.  I could win the lottery.  Of course I'd have to play the lottery for this to happen.

3.  I can finish my book, work on getting it published, and create a new life with a different focus.

Note that I am not looking to get filthy rich doing this.  I'd simply love to be able to quit my day job at some point.  If I happen to get filthy rich writing, well, that would be the same as winning the lottery.

Probably the same odds too.

So then next time you hear me sigh or complain that I don't have time to write, remind me of this dream.

Remind me that it's all I've wanted for over twenty years.

And remind me that I can do it, because I tend to focus on the odds of it ever happening.

Happy Tuesday!

Characters

I'm taking a break today... a Spring Break, if you will, even though it was 32 for a high today.  I found myself sitting watching The Voice (hel-lo Blake!) wishing I had something to give you, and thought maybe I do.

I would really like to introduce you to the characters I've been spending all my time with lately, especially since they aren't going anywhere any time soon.  You may as well get to know why I've been so preoccupied.

So, thanks to Pinterest I was able to make a board just for the characters in my book, a home for my people, and I find myself visiting them when I'm not writing.

So welcome to my family...

Guiding quote:

Grace Dunham Foster

Julia Dunham

Linny Babcock

Jimmy Darnell

And the fan favorite, Charlie Darnell... sigh

I love the little family I have created, and hope that someday, you will too.  Continue to be patient with me... I haven't forgotten about you.

Have a happy Monday!