normal

I remember at one point during this past month texting that 'crazy is the new normal,' and sadly, I think that's true.  All I've longed for, dreamt about, was for life to go back to normal.

Problem is, I don't even know what that is anymore.

I know what it's not...

Normal is not being in the hospital.
Normal is not worrying about your son when he gets on the ice.
Normal is not eating out every night.
Normal is certainly not watching Season 1 of Prison Break in less than a week.
Normal is not waking at 2:20 am every single night.

This month has taken a toll on me, and I'm tired, fat, and crabby.

No, this is not normal.  It may seem like it sometimes, but it's not.

It's time to get my normal back and it will start today, as I try to remember what it is I do in life... besides work that is.  I want my life to be about motherhood, books, and writing.  Years from now, I want someone to mention my name, and someone else say, "Oh yeah, she's a great writer."

Is that normal?  Probably not, but then again, maybe it is, and I just haven't gotten there yet.  They say half the battle of solving any problem is seeing and admitting there is one, so hopefully this will be my first step back.

I know that normal is often looked down upon.  In searching for quotes, most of them were about not being normal... that it kills the Spirit.  I get that, but after this month, I can honestly say that worry and stress can kill a Spirit quicker.  Ultimately it's about balancing the good and bad in your life, and not thinking that you can have only one or the other.

And sometimes, when that doesn't work, you can mull it over while watching Prison Break.  Everyone feels better about their lives after that.

Happy Friday!