struggles

Schedules are hectic lately and only getting worse for the next few weeks.

Homework and events are increasing.

Lacrosse schedules change by the hour somedays.

Work is in that difficult spot of being unsatisfying and annoying at the same time.  Which is fun.

So I took another personal day today, and while I still have to go in tonight, I have the "school day" to myself.  And it just so happens to be sunny and 70.  Quite literally.

I've had an issue lately of squandering away any free time I have, since it's so scarce.  I'll find myself watching an hour of tv and not having a clue as to what was even on.  I'll sit with a cup of coffee in the morning and just let my mind run through the usual loop of negative thinking.  Or my personal favorite, I'll get to school thirty minutes early so I can play Candy Crush till I'm out of lives.

You know... useful things.

When I woke up today, I knew work was not going to be on the agenda, unless you count working on the websites on my deck.  In shorts, t-shirt, and sunglasses.

Once I decided I would be home today, I did something that I usually don't do... I sat down and tried to figure out what would really make me happy.  At the same time I read an email I got from Notes from the Universe explaining the 10 things people take for granted.

#9:  How easy life is when they stop struggling.

And it hit me instantly... I've been resisting everything from schedules to work, and even sleep.  Poor me... life is busy and hectic, and messy.  Oh sure, I have the same thoughts as those negative people on Facebook we make fun of, but I just keep them hidden.  They're in my closet of bad thoughts.

Poor, poor me.

All I have wanted lately-craved really- is someone to take care of me.  Take care of my messy, complicated, amazing life.  In short, I miss my mom.  I miss the feeling of comfort I had knowing she could take care of anything and always make my life easy.  Mother's Day is always a double edged sword.

So in looking back to #9, I didn't struggle when she was around.  Life was just easier.  And then I remembered the video I watched yesterday, and knew instantly that life wasn't about being easier or without struggle.  And that resisting all of it is where the problem lies.  (Watch the video and come back).


"Bravery can only come from having something to be brave about.... We are only as great as our struggles." ~Katherine Center (my hero)

Looking at your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and not only accepting it, but being grateful for it is where happiness resides.

Now, I'm not saying that it's easy, but at least you know that you're not alone.

Everyone has struggles.
Everyone has pain.
Everyone has something in their life they want to change.

And everyone can be brave.

I hope you have a wonderful and messy and chaotic day.  It means you're still living.

B Grateful.