Happy Mother's Day...

I think by now we all know that I have this love/hate relationship with Mother's Day.

On one hand...

Toby and the kids are extra nice that day.
Usually a meal is involved.
Everyone you see wishes you Happy Mother's Day.
My sister always gets me the best gifts.  Spoils me rotten.
Spring is in the air.

But then on the other hand...

I still miss my mom.

I won't get bogged down on what I don't have without her, since I'm starting to learn that the best of her is still with me.  I have her laugh.  I have her smile.  I have exceptional parenting mothering skills... just ask my kids or anyone at the rink.  I take care of them all.

My office is a lot like her office was:  Always filled with someone wanting to hang out or needing advice.  Sometimes they just want to vent or on the really bad days, they'll shut the door and cry.

So I sit and listen, or hug, or give them what they need, whether it's simple advice or a kick in the pants.  I witnessed this gift in my mother when I was in high school, and now I see it in myself.  It's as if she is really still here.

But she's not.

So being my mother, and still wanting to make sure I'm okay, she has surrounded me with some of the best moms I know.

My friends.

As I was walking tonight I had this overwhelming feeling of being blessed with friendship.  These moms are the ones who have held me up over the years.

still not sure who the guy is...

Laughed with me.
Cried with me.
Given me hope and support when I needed it, and of course a kick in the pants too.
We've swapped recipes and pins.
We always trade books.
We check up on each other's kids.
We do breakfast, lunch, dinner, and movies.  (Shhh)
Drinks are a given, and 'wine-ing' is allowed.


In a nutshell, I am blessed.

So to all you moms... and some of you aren't even moms yet, thank you.  Thank you for making this thing we call life worth living.  Thank you getting me through the hard days and making the easy days more fun.

We are all blessed to have each other for certain.

Thanks Mom...

Leaping

I don't know about any of you, but in my opinion, leaping is nothing short of terrifying.  I mean seriously, when was the last time you took a chance (a scary one) or knew someone who did?

Leaping isn't for wimps, but I truly believe most of us are just going through life playing it safe, and not getting anywhere.  Which then begs the question...

Are you happy playing it safe?  Or would you rather take a chance (even a small one) even if it means you might fail?

Is your life everything you want it to be... be honest, and if it's not, what would you change?  I don't know if it's just my age or what, but this feeling of anxiety and overall unsettled has fallen over me lately, and I find myself daydreaming of a better life.  I want to be the person who can take chances, but after years of perfecting safe, that is a tall order and a challenge to change.  The idea of trying and failing is easily the biggest reason most people don't take chances.

So I am going to start taking my own advice - a bitter pill to swallow for certain - and I am going to leap.  I have a list of 4 agents and what is needed for each of them to submit my manuscript.  This part of the process is so much harder than the actual writing, but it's what I want in my life, so I need to just get over the fear of the rejection and get the ball rolling.  I need to accept the fact that I love this book and want to share it with everyone.  For those of you who know me, you understand how difficult that last statement really is for me to say out loud  :)

So, your homework for the week is to find one small thing in your life that you want to take a leap with.  It could be a difficult conversation or finding time to work out again.  Anything that might take you out of your safe zone and feels uncomfortable will work.  It doesn't have to be anything major either... we're taking baby steps this week.  

Next week I will have something else in store for you :)

Have a Happy Sunday!

Commas

Comma — n
1. the punctuation mark(,) indicating a slight pause in the spoken sentence and used where there is a listing of items or to separate a nonrestrictive clause or phrase from a main clause.

After spending way too many hours on a middle school play program, someone proofing it for me became the comma nazi, to the point where I felt like she wanted a comma after every word.

I, felt, defeated, by, a, simple, punctuation, mark.

Thankfully I have a group of fabulous woman surrounding me who know the difference between logic and a case of extreme punctuationitis.

Not that there's anything wrong if you have it.

However, when I get a long list the night before it goes to press, I tend to get a little cranky.  And of course I have to ask myself, 'What is this comma trying to teach me?'  I'm old enough to know that when something presents itself to me with such a force, I must not be paying attention to something in my life.

God knocks in funny ways.

So all day yesterday I kept asking myself, where do I need to pause?  Where do I need to make some separations in my life?   And of course, this comes to me in a week where there are no breaks, and there is no separation between home, work, wife, mother, and friend.

My to do list is abundant and not exactly in a good way.

Did that last sentence need a comma?

Sigh... I may not know where all the commas go in the land of punctuation (Mrs. Head would not be proud), but I do know that I am using today as a comma.

A break.
A pause.
Separating things I want to do and the things I need to do.

Today is about the wants, and hopefully it will make all the needs seem a little less needy this week.

Take a moment today to see where you could take a pause from real life and don't worry if you're using it the right way.

There are no rules to life commas.  Use as many as you need :)

Have a fabulous Wednesday!

Flexibility, Part 2

It's no secret I have a love/hate relationship with my Bikram Yoga.  Everyone who practices says you have to give it time... Five classes, they say is the magic number when you stop wishing you were in an igloo the entire time you're in there.

Well, I'm here to tell you that if I were to base it on my 5th class, I probably wouldn't go back.

It was hell.

Literally.

And crowded, and long, and I wanted anything other than to be there.

Then I sat outside the door after class, blinking back tears, when the teacher tried to talk me off the ledge.  It only made me want to cry more.  I cannot remember ever feeling like this about any exercise other than when I was a kid, skating.

That was the hate part.

Then, the day after, I didn't have time to go in so I just did a yoga video at home.  And it was then and there that I realized that yoga had invaded my brain, and I would probably never do anything again without focusing intensely on my breath.

I finished the video with a new outlook about the five classes I had accomplished (and for anyone who has ever done even one class, you understand the meaning of accomplishment with new eyes).  The video is hard, but certainly nothing like what I had been through in the past couple weeks.  When I was done, I realized that I had gained much more than physical strength during those 450 minutes of yoga:  I was mentally stronger than I was two weeks ago, and that's saying a lot after 10 months of winter.

So I thought I'd give you the Top 5 things Bikram Yoga has taught me:

1. I am stronger than I think.  This class will break you down in the first ten minutes if you don't continually tell yourself that you just need to get through the next exercise.  And then the next one...
2. Being perfect at something anything is just an illusion.  Don't get me wrong - I don't think I'm perfect at anything, but I tend to stay in the safe zone when it comes to working out (and life).  Walking, running, elliptical... nothing that is going to teach me anything.  And having spent the majority of my life on skates, that really isn't a challenge either.  It's good for me to fail miserably at something like I did in my 5th class.
3. I can pretty much get through anything, one breath at a time.  This practice should be mandatory for women considering getting pregnant.
4. Focusing on one point is the single greatest skill you can acquire to learn balance.  Right now I'm focusing on a glass of wine.  Life is about balance, and that is sometimes found in a glass.  No judging.
5. I don't give up easily.  Even though I usually think of myself as the queen of starting things, I am learning to finish things too.  I don't like letting myself down, and have figured out what things are really important to me.  Those are the things I'm finishing.  I'm a finisher :)

I know that I have easily sweated out my body weight in this last two weeks, and I also know that I will go back again and again.  In a year that is about flexibility, I am learning so much more... but I guess that was the point all along.

I hope you all have a happy weekend!

Chicken

Out of all my bad qualities - and there's a boatload of them - I think stubbornness might be the worst one of them all.

I also think Toby would agree with this statement ever day and twice on Sunday.

For instance, I'll give you just a small sample of how stubbornness can make or break a morning commute.

Have you noticed that with all of the snow we've gotten this winter the streets are more narrow?  I mean, two cars can barely pass each other without taking off a side mirror.  (This is where I spill my gratitude that I'm not one of those unfortunate parents teaching their kids to drive right now ;))

Anyways, every morning every single freaking morning, I turn down the side street to the STA back entrance -  you know the one that's narrow on a bright summer day, let alone with forty inches of snow pushing it's way into the street- and there's not one, but a line of school busses coming at me.  Yep, that's me, playing chicken every morning with the busses, just waiting to see who will move into the snowbank and who will drive comfortably down the street.

Needless to say, my little zippy car doesn't have four wheel drive, but oh how I wish it did, because I lose the battle every.  freaking.  morning.

Chicken is the new line rage, and this makes line rage look adorable.

Blake is scared $#@less every morning and braces himself when we make that turn.  This morning he asked to leave earlier (than 7:25) just to avoid the busses.  We made it almost to the stop sign when we saw the first bus take the corner and line up with me.  RATS!

When we mentioned our daily game of chicken with the busses, Toby simply asked why we don't go the long way, and I looked at him like he was crazy.  Does he even know who I am???

I didn't have the guts to tell Toby that going the long way had never crossed my mind (and it truly didn't).  I wasn't looking for a solution... only a way to beat the busses.

That, my friends, is stubbornness at it's worst.

I hope this brings a smile to your face today, and that you all have a happy bus-free Monday!

#tbt

Time flies.
Years pass.
Kids grow up.

While we are busy carpooling, making lunches, setting up play dates, shuttling to practices, and helping with homework, moments turn into memories.

And nothing can make you feel older than a throwback Thursday.  I look at pictures and wonder where did the time go?  I have a love/hate thing going on with the whole aging process.

On one side we know more than we did when they were little.  Things like sleepless nights and endless feedings are adorable compared to the gray hair moments of driving with a newly-permitted driver...

Or trying to stay awake till they're home.

Or wondering if even a community college will accept them after this year of math... again.

Or if they're doing drugs, or having sex, or still love their parents.

I feel like if you knew how you'd feel when they were in their teens before you became pregnant, there would be fewer kids in the world.  Parenting is not for the faint at heart nor for the weak.  

On the other side, where would we be without them?  I know for a fact that life wouldn't be the same without the issues, the problems, the sarcasm, the hugs, the singing (thank you Blake), the games, the practices, the friends, and the laughter.  

Life isn't simple and rarely goes as we planned.  It's best to keep a flexible attitude and learn to think quickly on your feet.  Life isn't supposed to be perfect, so stop trying to fit into a mold that will never fit.  Good, bad, and ugly, your family - your life - is just that.  Yours.  And learning to accept it, and love it, will ease some of the aging process.

And when in doubt a glass of wine will usually make everything seem okay... at least for the moment.

Happy #TBT my friends.

Endless Winter

Many people, myself included, are done with winter.

Done.

DONE.

D. O. N. E. Done.

And then the stupid Groundhog had to go and see his shadow, locking in another 6-weeks of this stuff.  

So, this past week I started to think of summer things.  I got new nose guards for my favorite sun glasses (I can't wear them without)... Toby bought sunscreen for spring break... and I changed my ringtone to Beachin'.

And then I stumbled on this video from last year... I thought we could all use a giggle about now.

And then I thought we could add a song to our Summer Playlist...

But if all else fails, just remember The Voice and Scandal are back in 2 weeks!!

And the irony of all ironies is the fact that I chose Endless Summer as our Show theme this year.  So we have that to look forward to as well :)

Maybe it was fate.

And maybe this endless winter will fade away and be a memory when we're sweating throughout the summer.  At this point, I'd be okay with that, but I'm also careful about what I wish for.  I'm not stupid.

I hope you all have some summer thoughts today!

Happy Saturday...