Nowhere But Home

This has been one of those years of reading that a decade from now I'll think, wow, what a great year for books.  From Me Before You to The Lost Husband, and everything in between, I have been inspired in so many ways, but mostly as a writer.

Now I'll add Nowhere But Home by Liza Palmer to my collection, which turned out to be not as 'light' as I thought it would be but as most of you know, I like a good cry at the end of a book.  

In the book, the main character, Queenie, takes a job as the chef in a Texas prison who makes the last meals for those being executed.   How does a writer even think this up?  And then to write it with so much heart was just lovely to me.  

Near the end of the book I began to wonder what would my last meal be if I knew when that was.  Most of the meals in the book took the prisoners to another time and place in their lives when they felt loved and comforted.  Comfort was the key word.

So (aside from the obvious morbid thoughts,) if I had just one meal left for someone to cook for me it would be this:

BBQ Spareribs.  I don't even remember the last time I've even had these, and growing up, we'd have them all the time.  They were my mom's favorites, and I still know her recipe off the to of my head.  

Cheesy Potatoes.  There are about a billion recipes for these, but again, I'll defer to my mom's version which was really taken from Campbell Catering back in the day.  When she got the recipe it was for mass quantities so she had to figure it out for a family of eight.  Again, I haven't had them in a while, but I'm thinking these might need to be made this week now.  

Cabbage/Ramen Noodle Salad.  Hands down, my favorite salad ever.  And yes, I make this all the time.

Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream.  The trick to this is to have the cake still warm so the ice cream gets a little melty.  It's simple perfection.

That's about it.  Kind of simple, but oh so comforting, and of course I want you all to think about what your last meal would be.  I know it's kinda creepy, but at the same time, it's fun to think about all the foods that bring us so much comfort and why.

If you get a chance, read the book.  It is beautifully written and very funny at times.

Happy Sunday!

Happiness

Sometimes I wonder if this is the lifelong quest for all of us.  What if our job, our only job, was to figure out what made us happy and we did it like we were getting paid?

What if you got paid to do something that made you happy?

Not your spouse.
Not your kids.
Not your boss.
Not even the damn dog.

And what if what made you happy didn't made anyone else happy in your family?  Would you still do it?  With gusto?

This is what's missing, I think.  We look for what we want, daydream about doing it, and maybe even try something new.  But the second it feels uncomfortable, or we couldn't do the twenty other things on our to-do list, we throw in the towel and think it was just a silly pipe-dream.

I saw a picture on Instagram today and it stopped me from flipping through any other pictures.  Someone had taken a picture of their To-Do list, only it filled just one side of the page.  On the other side, she had her To-Be list, and it was filled with things like grateful, vulnerable, curious, and generous.  What if you started your day wanting to be courageous or daring?  We stop ourselves so often, every single day really, because it's more comfortable to just keep doing what we know.

Safe.

I don't think that would ever be on a To-Be list.

What will be on your To-Be list tomorrow?  And yes, I expect you to do this :)

6-Word Wednesday

I have a frame in my bathroom filled with beach pictures and quotes.  One of those quotes is actually the definition of carefree:

adj.  1. having no worries and no responsibilities.

Now is that the classic definition?  Probably not, but it works for me, and for some reason, I been zeroing in on that quote every time I go in there.   Carefree just isn't in my vocabulary anymore, unless I'm describing someone else.  I think at some point I've even started to look down my nose at those who can pull off carefree as an adult.  But seriously, how happy would we be if we didn't worry, control, and obsess about our problems every minute of every single day?

I'm not saying we have to bury our heads in the sand, but if gratitude was my Summer project, balance in my Fall mission.  My biggest problem is I haven't learned, EVER, how to turn my brain off and just relax.  I get home from work and obsess about who did or said what.  My emails ping like techno music somedays.  And we all know that home isn't exactly relaxing lately.  

So there has to moments in my life where I'm not in control, in charge, and not worrying about it.  The last time I actually felt carefree was on Winetour 2013 at Roundbarn.  

Yes, I miss Johnny Blue-eyes.

I miss giggling on picnic tables.

I loved hanging with my friends.
It's someone's birthday here every day.

And sadly, there aren't that many moments in our lives.  It's as if we've all decided that being a parent means we have to be serious adults.  I just think we need more fun in our lives or we're going to wake up one day and wonder why we wasted our time.  

So, even if it's for five minutes today, do something carefree.  Turn the music up and sing or dance.  Make a playlist that makes you smile.  Watch Sixteen Candles and say every line you know.  Read something that would make your mother blush.  Do something other than be an adult.  

It's okay to have some fun.

You're allowed to let off steam.

Control is just a silly illusion.

I could go on and on...

But I'll spare you my 6-word obsession, and hope you find some happiness today just being carefree.

Happy Wednesday!

Less is More

Have you ever had one of those days where you look around and wonder why the hell there's so much $hi! laying around the house?  I mean, how does one family acquire so much stuff?  This was the first day that I had off since the kids have been in school, and I literally spent the day getting rid of stuff.

I stumbled upon this website last week and sat for almost two hours going over post after post.  It's certainly a commitment to a different way of life, and while I'm not sure I'm at that point yet, I do believe there is something I can take away from there.  If anything I felt better just by reading all the different posts about how people had changed their lives and were so much happier without all that STUFF.  Plus it inspired me to clean out my closet, which I hadn't done in almost two years.

Let me tell you how many things I haven't worn in two years.

I tried not to think too much about why I don't wear them any more (my dryer shrunk them all!), and I just piled them up and kept only the things I wear every week.  If I didn't wear it in the last six months, it was out.  Oddly enough, once I got started, I couldn't stop.  I almost went through Toby's stuff, but he would find that one obscure thing that I threw out and he desperately loved.  And I would have to lie about it... again.

And so I have a clean closet now.  I have sweaters in a sweater area on the top shelf next to the sweatshirts.  Jeans are stacked in one spot.  T-shirts are all in one drawer instead of three.  And it feels awesome.

I can't wait to clean something else now.  I challenge all of you to pick one room (even a portion of a room) and get rid of the stuff that is just taking up space.  At the very least go through that website and try to get inspired.

I guarantee you'll want to get rid of something when you do :)

Happy Thursday.... It's almost Friday!!

P.S.  Yes, I was even inspired to simplify my blog too.  Hope you like it.

Remember me?

It's been weeks since I've written anything for anyone.

Well, it feels like weeks.

I'm not sure how long it really is, but jeez Louise this isn't how I function, and I actually forgot about this until someone mentioned it today.  How could I forget about something that brings me so much happiness?  I'm smiling even as I write this (mostly because I know you were happily shocked to see a
new post today).

So here's the deal... I am officially out of any kind of summer schedule and even got the first week of learn to skate out of the way, so I am going back to making what I love a priority again.  It's strange how quickly all hell can break loose when a schedule is cattywompus, and nothing feels right unless I'm writing or working on something anymore... so I guess you're stuck with me.

Consider my writing like the Fall TV programming.  Sometimes you have to put up with a bunch of repeats till your favorite show comes back on (hello... The Voice is on soon!!)  

Thanks for your patience... I'll check in soon :)

Happy Monday!

Lost, Season 45

So I finished my first draft four days ago.

And I'm lost.  Like really lost.

Like, I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not working, lost.  And even work is a struggle these days.

There is nothing on TV.  I can't focus on any book.  Y & R is only fifty minutes on the iPad, and even that isn't doing much for me.

All I want is to go back to Lakeside and hang out with Linny and the guys.  I want Charlie to hug me and Jimmy to roll his eyes and make jokes.  I want to feel the way Grace feels after a run... not the way I do.

The thing is I knew I was obsessive with writing this book, so much so that I literally couldn't wait to
finish whatever it was that I was doing, so I could get back in Frankfort.

But everything I've read about revisions says to leave it alone for a week and go back to it with fresh eyes, so here I am... needing to write and someone to hear me.  Life would probably be easier if I liked to talk on the phone, but it's words that make me feel better.

I also know I've neglected this for so long, and it's time I get back to finding some normalcy after this summer (did I mention it was the best summer ever?).  On September 1 I will tackle revisions and get back into their lives, but until then I'm going to try and relax for a moment.

In the meantime, if you notice me somewhere and I look a little well.... lost, just hang in there with me.  I'll find my way back home eventually.

I have truly missed this and hope someone is still checking to see if I'm alive :)

Motherhood

As I sit here tonight it is killing me not to be able to see Sarah and precious little Jonah (Little J-Twizzle, for long).  And knowing I was one of the first to even know about him nine months ago, this doesn't seem fair.

I comforted with the morning sickness.
I sat through nine months of bagel eating.
I hugged and calmed her down when she needed, right down to the day before.
I tried to be brutally honest with what really happens in delivery so she was prepared.
I told her to get an epidural, even though she was one of those who thinks they're tough enough.

And I've texted.  Oh how I've texted... words of wisdom, dirty jokes, sarcasm, truth, and joy.

To say I make it a priority to help her through life is an understatement, and I don't know what it is that compels me to take on this role, but we are connected in a weird way that cannot be explained.

And if I can't be there this week, there are a few things I want her to know... mom to mom.

• First of all, you are going to be overwhelmed.  It may not hit today or tomorrow, but it will hit, and when it does you'll wonder why you ever thought being a mother would be cool.

• You will fall so head over heels in love with this baby, and will find yourself just standing over them to watch them sleep.

• Your whole being is going to be taken over by this small, beautiful boy (a boy!!), but you will soon find out that your heart grows even bigger each day.  You will have space for Jonah, as well as well as the life you had before him.  Yes, your priorities will change, but it doesn't mean you have to choose one or the other.  You will learn the fine art of juggling and relying on your friends... and that's okay.

• Post-pardum is real.  Take it seriously if you're sad.

• Ask for and accept help as much as possible, especially at the beginning.  You may feel like super-mom (and you are), but none of us got through the first week alone.  

• Take naps when he naps.  Even if it's 4 6 times a day.

• No one cares if your house is a mess.

• Be kind to your self.

• Your friends have always been your life line.  That will not change.

• Above all things, remember this:  Jonah might be one of the luckiest little boys I know because he has you as his mom.  I hope he gets your sense of humor and especially your snarkiness of late.   I hope he follows in your path to be utterly passionate about something when he gets older.  I hope he knows he has not just you and Joel, but the entire skating family and the place we call home.  You're going to spend hours upon hours worrying about the tiniest issues, but I assure you, everything will be okay in the end.

This should get you through to Friday, when come hell or high water, I'm coming to see Mr. T.... with presents and dinner.  I plan on holding him for a long time too, so get your fix before I get there.  

Until then, you can text me any time day or night.  

I can't wait to see how this next part of your life unfolds.