What I know for sure...

I was given this book at Christmas... Oprah's "What I Know For Sure" and loved every word of it.  That was my favorite part of her magazine, her wisdom at the end, and I would always feel like I had learned something from reading them.  Many times it felt like she was reading my mind.

And today I got the nudge to write again, and while it's been a lot of time away, I feel like it was a necessary break.  Sometimes we have to find new things to talk about or we run the risk of falling into the endless black hole of redundancy.

I know I'm getting older, but repeating myself isn't a road I want to go down anytime soon.

So I thought I'd start off this year with my own list of things I know for sure.  It's a work in progress, and I know it might be different next year, but that is how life works... which leads me to my first thing.

1.  The only thing we can count on is nothing stays the same.  Nothing.  If there is anything I've learned lately is that what we have right here - right now, could all be changed tomorrow.  Sometimes they're good changes, and sometimes they're bad.  Rarely is it in our control.  Best to learn to go with the flow.

2.  Friends make the world go 'round.  I think my friends are the reason I can stay sane in a crazy world.  We joke.  We cry.  We bitch.  We protect.  We love.  We listen.  We advise.  It doesn't matter what it is, my friends are there for me.  I am beyond blessed to have the best of them too.  Friends that would bail me out of jail.  Friends that understand I'm not perfect.  Friends that laugh at with me.  Friends that read my blog :) and ask for more.

3.  Creativity > Laziness.  Even the greatest day-long-Scandal-binge-watching-marathon isn't as good as writing one really good paragraph/scene/chapter.  It just doesn't.  Doing something productive always wins.  But if you can learn to be productive/creative while watching Scandal...  Well shut the front door.  You got yourself perfection.

4. You will never be prepared for bad news.   How could you?  We can't be those kinds of people who walk around expecting the worst all the time.  We believe, we hope, we dream.  So when the bad news comes, it usually sneaks up on you flips your world upside down.  It changes us and our reality, giving us a different perspective than we had before.  We will learn to believe, hope, and dream again, but it will always be different than before.  It just takes time.

5.  Resentment will eat you alive.  Raise your hand if you cling to resentment like a fuzzy warm blanket.  Yeah, me too.  I'm learning though, that life is too short, and eventually all that resentment is just hurting yourself.  Like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.  Let it go....

6.  What someone thinks of you is only their business.  This one is a work in progress for me, for sure.  I am the ultimate people pleaser.  If it were and Olympic sport, I'd be a multiple gold medalist.  Constant worrying about what others think is the quickest way to resentment.  See what I just did there?  It boggles the mind!  Anyways, start listening to your self about what you want... or who to be with... or what to write about.  At the end of the day, you are the only one you have to please.  People will naturally come and go in your life... Pretending to be something or someone else is just making you miserable.  Miserable = resentment.

7.  Giving is better than receiving.  Once a month I pay for the person behind me at Starbucks.  It's never a big amount, but the joy I get from doing that one thing lasts me the whole day.  I have never regretted doing or giving something to someone, and I truly believe your heart grows when you do.

8.  There really are some words to live by.  Here are just a few:  Joy.  Calm.  Strength.  Peace.  Courage.  Love.  Laughter.  Gratitude.  Find one word to guide you each day.  It will change the way you think and live.

9.  Being kind is better than being right.  Anyone who's been married longer than a year knows this.  #word

10.  No matter how old you get you will always need your mom.  It's been 11 1/2 years since I've seen my mom.  I know she's there, watching over me, but sometimes that's not good enough.  I need parenting advice in the worst way right now, and relying on myself isn't cutting it.  I know I don't have a choice, and muddling through it is all I've got, but a sign would be really good, Mom.  Just a little sign.

Well that's it.  What I know for sure.  Is it the same as what you know?  Probably not.  But I hope you will take the time to at least think about what your list would be.

That's all I really want... to get you thinking.

I hope you have a great 2015...

Giving Thanks

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

I've been working on the gratitude again lately.  Really trying to make it a normal part of every day living, instead of finding it when things go off the rails.  And today it hit me, there is really a lot to be thankful for in our lives.

First of all I have made it a mission to be the best mom to these two yahoos...  And that is pretty cool.  They are funny, kind, thoughtful, and honestly going to be the best adults someday.  

Now everyday isn't perfect, and yes, they are still kids with lots of learning left to do, but getting to be a part of their lives is a gift every day.  They're kinda cute too :)

Which leads me to their father...

What can I say about a man who has made it a mission to make me laugh everyday.  Well, almost every day.  Again, it's not perfect, and I'm learning that no marriage ever is, but sometimes you have to go through the bad times to see the good times right in front of you.  

It's a work in progress, and probably always will be, but I know he will always be there through all the good and bad times.  

That's what marriage is all about.

And then there's the things like my family, crazy or not, who are going to be with you good, bad, or ugly.  

And my job, along with the co-workers, who are more like family than anything else.  We can drive each other crazy trying to manage the "Suburban Way" but I don't know what I'd do without them.  Now my corporate comrades are the bomb and make everyday brighter :)

Friends.  What would I do without the people who hold me up, make me laugh, send me text, read my books (and like them), Scandal-live-text with me.  Or Revenge.  Or Criminal Minds.  The list could go on and on, but I honestly don't know what I would do without texting my friends.  It's like a conversation that really never ends.  

And then there's the little things:  creamer in my coffee... gas fireplaces... warm cookies.  The little things we totally take for granted, but are there everyday making our lives a little richer somehow.  

books
iPads
heated seats
running buddies
good advice
chilled white wine
eating out
McDonalds breakfast and Starbucks coffee
pets
slippers
health
Netflix

So.  Much.  To.  Be.  Grateful.  For.

At the end of the day, we just have to send a thank you up to Heaven to the angels watching over us, and not just tomorrow... but every day.  Make it a habit that you start paying attention to what's good in your life instead of what's bad.  Change your perspective and see the goodness around you.

Change your life for the better.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and take the time to say thank you.

1 Question

Today I give you two videos, and I'm sorry if you're on your phone and can't get to them (not sure why that is), but definitely take the time later to find them on your computer.

I don't know when we begin to lose sight of ourselves, but when I watch stuff like this, it reminds me of why I'm here.  It is my job to remind you of the message in both of these videos.

we are enough.

we are perfect just the way we are.

we can find a way to rise above the nasty voice in our head.

I hope you enjoy them, and maybe even watch them a couple times to let the message sink in.

Have a fabulous weekend....

Shake It Off

Yes, I'm in T-Swifty mode today, and I'm not afraid of shouting it from right here in my corner of the web.

Shake it off, shake it off, woo woo hoo!

It's been out for a while, but for some reason I watched the video for the first time today.  And then I watched it again.  Why don't you take a moment and watch it too... I'll wait.

Fun, right?  But the thing is, as I was doing yoga today, the message of the class was to let go of the tension of what's holding you back, and to find peace in just being.  Let go of what's bothering you.

I know... It sounds a little out there, but it really wasn't.  And as I went through the class I found myself astounded at how tense I was in the beginning.  She started off in corpse pose, and I literally couldn't lay still.  My back was tight, my mind raced, and my shoulders were up to my ears (no easy feat, since I was on my back).

And then I came across this video and realized that it's kinda the same message.  

Let it go = Shake It Off

Shake off the haters, the fakers, and even the heart-breakers.  Let them go and don't let them invade your space.  

Yes, it's a stretch (pun intended) to connect Taylor and yoga, but for me it works.  

Yoga class not even necessary to learn this lesson.

And if you liked the video above and we're a fan of the 80's, then you'll love this video even more.  My son kept saying, "Is this for real?  This happened?"

Yes, Blaker, this happened.  I may have even participated in something like this once a long, long time ago in a land far, far away.

Have a Happy Friday!

Roles

What role are you playing in life?  If your life were a sitcom or heaven forbid, a drama, what would your part be?

Are you the dutiful, but wisecracking wife?

Are you the struggling parent trying to keep it all together?

Or are you the one who has the perfect life with a daily dose of humor?

The biggest problem with the roles we play is sometimes it's just that:  we're playing them.  Acting the part, instead of feeling whatever it is we're supposed to be feeling.  Our identity becomes so wrapped up in the role that you lose the part of you that is real.

You following me?

Sometimes we get so stuck in the role we're playing, constantly in character, and we forget the world is going to change, grow, and move on without us.

Motherhood (or one could say parenthood) is the biggest role in many of our lives.  And please don't misunderstand me... that role is the most important role you will ever have.  However, it is all consuming and as the kids get older, the role changes drastically.  That is the space I'm in right now.  I'm still a mom, and will ALWAYS love being a mom, but the role isn't 24/7 like it used to be.  Ten years ago was a lot different than it is now, and I'll admit I was a little unprepared for how quickly it all changed.  I think I loved the role ten years ago because I didn't have to think too much about the rest of life.  It was just all about the kids and what they needed.  

Sure, I found myself resentful sometimes... okay a lot of the time, but I took a lot of pride in it also.  

So I come back to this:  We are not the roles we are playing.  Those roles are a part of us, they they shouldn't define us.  The things that define us are the things that will always be a part of our lives no matter what else changes.  

The hobbies.

The likes and dislikes.

The things we do when no one is around.

Sports.

If you're wandering around wondering what to do, start digging in to see what interests you.  Check out the people in your life who inspire you and find out what they are doing.  Take a class.  Join a club.  Become involved in a cause you believe in.  Volunteer.

You never know what new role will fit till you try it out.  Will it be easy?  Absolutely not.  It will be hard and challenge you, but that is when you figure out who you really are.  

Life is good.

And you are worth the effort.

Happy Tuesday :) 

Starting Over

There are so many things going on in life right now, and I am constantly feeling the need to hit the Do-Over button.  If only there was one in life that would either take us back to the beginning or propel us to a future date when life wasn't so complicated.

As if a future time like that even existed.

I find myself lately wondering where the time has even gone.  Forget about the future... what happened to the past?  Was I so busy with kids and daily life, that I didn't notice that time was flying by?  I have pictures, so many pictures, that have documented that we indeed gave the kids a happy childhood, but somehow that part of our life is gone, and everything is different now.

The life I'm in right now seems to be one that is by default.  One that wasn't necessarily a vision of mine, but rather one that I have been bullied into (by myself, of course).  When you're in the hustle and bustle of "busy life" you merely get through the days, exhausted, drained, and grateful for the bed at night.  You don't dream of something different, because that would seem ungrateful, and no one ever wants to be ungrateful when it comes to family life.

Being a mom requires you to put everyone else first, and we do that with pride.  It's a badge of honor to be baking at midnight because someone forgot to tell you they are having a class party.

Or waiting in line to buy an entire homeroom breakfast burritos at Mickey D's.
Or sewing together the shoulder pads five times in a month.
Or the countless trips to school and back, everyday for 12+ years.
Or sitting in doctor's offices, hospitals, and in rocking chairs in the middle of the night.

We've all done it and should be proud.

However, it's all changing now, and we have to find our selves again.  The one who used to dream about life and the pursuit of goals.  The one who wants more than just a job to pay the bills, but something that feels like a calling.

And maybe it's just me, but I don't think so.

I am restless and feeling like this time is nearing the end, and something bigger (and hopefully better) is on the horizon.  Now is the time to maybe dust off the journal and start writing about what we really want our lives to look like.  What does the perfect day look like on paper?

Write it down.

And no, it shouldn't be drinking and baking all day.  I may or may not have had to cross that one out.  The main fact is some of us are hiding behind our daily life because you forgot how to dream.  I know I was.  But that has changed, and I'm in full-on reinvention mode.  I am trying new things.  Trying, for the first time in my life, to ignore what I perceive others are thinking about me, and just doing things that belong on a grateful list.

Which I write every day.

Word.

I know this isn't for everyone, and we all have a pace we're comfortable with, but if you're the tiniest bit restless like I am, then follow along.  I haven't been ignoring this blog, but rather, a bit uninspired to write the same stuff over and over again.

I finally feel like I have something to say to you again, and I hope you'll be listening.

Happy Wednesday :)

September Love

The calendar says September 1.

The leaves are already falling off the trees (a bit early, don't you think?).

And even Spotify graced me with a little Earth, Wind, and Fire this morning.  Do you remember...

So it must be true.  Summer is officially over, and we are launched into one of the busiest months of the year.  I know many of you have been dreading this.  You knew it was coming, and you clung to the end of summer like Linus with his blanket.

Not me.  I say bring it on.  Maybe it's my natural tendency to love change of any kind in my life.  It's keeps things fresh and new.  I'm rather done with summer and doing a little dance today.  I will neither confirm nor deny that I baked a batch of cookies for the occasion.

But I'm sure you already know.

I thought it was only fitting to do a September Top 10 in honor of the first day leading into the best season ever.

September's Top Ten

1. I will say what you're all thinking (even if you won't admit it).... The kids go back to school.  Yes, for some of us, this has already happened, but for everyone else, this is one of the happy days in our parental year.  
2. Things like schedules and family dinners are written into the planner again.  Practices, homework, games... these eat up the white space of our calendars, but for me, that's a good thing.  I do so much better when there is a plan of attack.  White space scares the hell out of me, and I end up watching entire SEASONS of a show on Netflix on a single day.  
3. Weather changes.  Is there anything better than Fall?  I know it doesn't officially begin till September 21, but I can always hope the weather isn't following the calendar too closely.
4. September means the rink will be quiet again during the day.  I'm not going to lie... This summer was hell for everyone involved, and I for one, am happy to be able to think clearly again.
5. Three words:  Hockey season begins.
6. Football is back on TV.  I've never been the biggest fan of football, but I don't mind it on, especially if I have a good book to read.  It's something I can watch with the boys and not feel left out.  That is until ....
7. THE RETURN OF SCANDAL!!
   
8. Let's just hold there for a moment... Fall is the beginning of the TV season, at least for network television, and what I also have started to call DVR season.  We are bombarded with so many new shows (Hello How To Get Away With Murder!), as well as our old favorites that we wouldn't consider missing (i.e. Revenge), and there just isn't enough time each night to see it all!  Enter the blessed DVR.
9. Blake Shelton.  The crush continues.  And so will The Voice, September 22.  
   
10. Reading/Writing time increases.  For whatever reason, I just find more time to write and read during the school year.  The boys are out of the house more, or I'm waiting at school.  Either way, it's more time to get to what I love.  Words.

Word.

Hope you all had a great weekend!