Blaker's Top Ten

Where does the time go?

This was taken 10 years ago when Blake was one and Evan was five.  How can it possibly be that I have an 11 and 15 year old now?  It is shocking what ten years will do!

So in honor of Blake's Birthday, I'd like to do a Top Ten for one of the coolest kids I know.

1. He literally has one of the biggest hearts I know.  This kid is thoughtful, kind, and generous.  It's not lost on me that he is the most like my mom with his personality.
2. His laughter can be identified in a room of kids.  
3. He loves life.  Literally, he'll wake up excited, every. single. day.
4. He is loaded with charm and good looks, and he isn't afraid to use them.
5. He loves to write just as much as I do.
6. Any of his problems can be solved with a slurpee from Speedway.
7. He is tough and fearless.  Not always a great combination for a mom to watch over, but it does make the sports more interesting :)
8. His medical record includes 1 concussion, 5 staples, and 20 stitches in his face.  I know he will brag about this someday.
9. His eyes have more expression than his words do sometime. 
10. Kids love him.  Parents love him.  And pets love him.  He is more confident than an 11 year old should be.  I literally can't wait to see what the next year will bring for him!

If any one thing can remind you that life is short, it's baby pictures.  There is nothing like going back in time and remembering how simple life was then. I know we didn't know it then, but that's the lesson we must learn.  

I will repeat it for those of you who need reminding.

Life is short.

It will pass you by in a snap if you don't start noticing what is going on now.

Do what you love, and love what you do.  

Week 8

So, this is it.  The last week of figuring out what's most important to you.  The one thing I have learned along the way is that there really is no shortcut.  No magic pill or potion that will make you happy and all your dreams come true.  Hell, if there were we would've stopped reading this a long time ago.  Happiness and 'The Good Life', if you haven't figured out, are already in your reach.  It's like Glinda said to Dorthy, "It was inside you the whole time."

Week 8 is about that magical word, Love.  And I don't mean the marriage love, or I love those shoes... it's about loving yourself, your life, and your choices.

There isn't anything in our lives that can't be fixed by loving it.  We're just so used to complaining about things (work, weight, money, kids), that we never thought to try and accept it into our lives.

When you're feeling like it can't get any worse, find something, anything, to love.  All of us can have bad days.  What do we focus on when that happens?  Well, we can only obsess about how everything is wrong.  This happens on facebook all the time.  You'll see someone ranting about how horrible things are over an over again.  It's as if their brains are only wired to see the bad in everything around them, and then make it their status.

We get it... your life sucks.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Starting today, be a light that only shines on the good stuff.  For instance, it is Monday morning on the first day of summer and Summer is usually not my thing.  But this year I am bound and determined to make it better.  Life is way to short to dislike a season, right?  I mean, that's a lotta time.  So already this morning, I have started a list in my head of the things I do love about this time of year:

• Reading on the deck
• Not being at work at 8 am.
• Writing in my pj's at 7 am.
• Weekends off (well, most of them)
• Kids helping around the house.
• Days at the beach.
• Walks outside.

No, it's not long, but it is a start, and at least it proves I don't hate everything about Summer.  Look around you today and figure out where your love is going.  Is it wasted on things that don't matter to you, or are you using it wisely?

Do what you love and love what you do.  I think it really is that simple.  

Have a lovely week my friends!

Checking in

Good Morning All!

I am just checking in to see if any of you are staying in the moment.  Coming from a chronic time killer, this is really hard.  I have caught myself enjoying moments I might normally let go by, but I know that some days are still just a blur.

Today, I want to treasure the doing...

Week 7

I know, I know, I'm a week late with this.


Deal with it!


Sometimes when life throws you curve balls, you have to try and catch them.  Granted, I was supposed to be practicing balance while catching those balls, but sadly, my life is a work in progress.  


Sigh...


But yesterday and today are about putting the priorities back in order, and I have spent the morning doing just that.  So always remember that when you fall off the balance beam of life, you can always hop back on without too many deductions (a little pre-Olympic humor there).


Week 7 is all about NOW, and might be the hardest lesson of all.  Everyone I know, myself included, is stuck in the past or the future, worrying, festering, complaining, and beating themselves up. Very rarely are we ever present and in the moment.  


As I write this, I am looking out the window at Blake playing with his buddies.  They are barefoot in the grass, lacrosse sticks in hand, and 100% in the moment themselves.  Not one of them is worrying about memorizing the speech for Wednesday or even try-outs later today.  Nope, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and they are just having fun.  I wanted to leave five minutes ago, but they're so happy, I can't do it.


So I write... which brings me to my moment. 


Have you ever gotten through an entire meal and not really even realize you finished, let alone tasted the food?  How about a day?  I know that I have gone through days and sometimes weeks, thinking 'I just gotta get through this day...'


It's ridiculous! We are wasting so much time and energy on fixing the past, planning the future, and wishing life away.  It isn't supposed to be like this, and starting today, I want you to be more aware of the moment you're in, and make it beautiful.  Embrace what you have, stop caring about what you don't have, and get on with it.  


Live it too short.


Homework:  Do any or all of the following.

• Save the picture above, and set it as your screen saver.  
• Take a moment to sit still and become aware of what is going on around you.  If you have kids, watch them play.  They are masters at this.
• Make a meal or dessert from scratch.  Measure the ingredients, taste test, and play some music while you do this.  Savor the smells and the sounds coming from your kitchen.
• If it's nice outside, go for a walk or run.  There is nothing like a little exercise to bring you into the moment.  
• If you can swing it get a massage, manicure, or pedicure.  Being pampered is a perfect way to have a moment to yourself!
• When in doubt, go to Biggby and write.  Okay, this one is mainly for me, but hey, you can too!

Have a very present week :)

Week 6

Week 6 is a subject we all know and love... and desperately need:  Balance.  Yes, the fine art of balance is, or at least should be, a top priority for any woman.  It doesn't matter what your life circumstances are, everyone I know is suffering from an imbalance in their lives.

Some work too much.
Some worry too much.
Some eat and drink too much trying to calm the voices in their head.
Some don't sleep.
Some sleep too much.
Everyone struggles in some way, while others struggle in every way.

It's the sad truth we women share, the fact that our lives are spread so thin and we just keep piling it on.  At some point we need to prioritize what is important (um, hello... values!), and make sure that each day is about those choices.  The other stuff, the busy-ness, is just like white noise.  It's always there in the background, annoyingly so, distracting us to a fault.  All this extra stuff takes us farther away from our values and the lives we really want.

No one's life is perfect, but the thing is, everyone can have a perfect life for themselves.  It's about balancing out the good with the bad.  So you don't like work but you need to get a paycheck?  Balance that out with something you love... such as reading or running... something that helps you come back to your self.  Everyone who knows me, knows that I have worked years to help Toby balance out his life (yes, probably to a fault).  I know he hates his job with a capital H, so I let him balance that out with golf.  It's his thing that makes getting through the week better.  I am just now learning to do this for myself and that has taken years.

Y. E. A. R. S.

So this week is all about a little give and take.  I'm not expecting anyone to make any drastic changes, but I do want you to start thinking about your day, your week, as a bank account.  Things you don't like are considered withdraws, while things you love are deposits.  By the end of the week, you want to be in the positive with your personal account.  When you're feeling down and exhausted, you know you're dipping below your balance point, so look for things you love at that point, even if it means waking up early or staying up a little later.  Maybe a spin class :)

Life is short.  We all know that, but it's our responsibility to enjoy the ride while we're here.  You owe it to your self and your family to stay balanced.  Think about your account and whether you're overdrawn and running on empty.  If you are feeling that way, what are you going to do about it?

Make a deposit every day.  Even if it's a small one (little things add up!).  Write them down at the end of the day, the withdraws and deposits, and see how you feel.  By the end of the week, hopefully you'll have more deposits than anything else.  If not, be thankful you know how to fix it.

Have a fabulous week...

Week 5: Value City

Congratulations!  You are half-way through the 8-weeks, and THIS might be the most important week of all.  I know, I've probably already said that, but this time I really mean it.

I'm calling this week Value City, because it's all about what really matters to you; Your Values.

"Your values are the choices you make about what's most important to you.  Living your life by your values is like establishing true north on a compass.  You may know what your values are.  You may believe your values are your guiding stars.  Bit if you aren't actually living your values - following your true north - chances are you won't ever be really happy, and your journey through life will feel spiritually off track."  ~ Kobi Yomada, 7

So, this week is about finding out what those values are since some of us don't ever think about them.  Is it health you want?  Is it your family you value?  Your career?  Relationships?  What is it that will get you out of bed other than obligations.

For the next couple days, I just want you to take a walk around Value City (It's much prettier than Pity City).  Look in the different shops and see if any of them call you to come inside and take a closer look.  You don't have to pick any yet, but just do a little window shopping.  

Look at the words here and see what moves you, but also feel free to find some of your own.  Basically you need to figure out what you want your life to be about, so you can start getting to the business of living.  

Living your life.  Doesn't that sound good?

BFF's

For me, friendship doesn't get any better than this.  It's almost as if Lucy and Ethel were the couple and the husbands were the sidekicks.  They could do and say anything, get in all sorts of trouble, and there was never any judgement.  It was the first unconditional friendship on TV that I know of, and I vividly remember my mom loving this show.  She knew every episode, and made sure I did too.  

The best part of friends for me is that I can be myself, and I know you'll laugh with me... or cry with me... or get angry too.  We all have our own problems, but sharing them with each other is a safe place.  Our husbands usually try to fix things or blame someone... but you guys?  You just listen, which is what we all want anyways.  I never get irritated with venting because I know I'll get a turn at some point.  We all do.

And then we giggle.  

We prop each other up, give pep talks when needed, or simply just listen.  It's instinctive for us to know what the other one needs.  

So, to all my friends reading this right now...  Thank you.  You have no idea how lonely life would be without you.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Happiness is...

Oh how I long for an evening of poor choices... on a Sunday night.... free shots and getting shushed...and Zac.

Memories are the best!

Find your Favorites

I don't mean find your favorite friends here.  It isn't a competition, although I know it can be through grade, middle, and high school.

I'm glad that's over.

What I mean is find your favorite quotes today about friendship.  Quote Garden is one of my favorites, as is Pinterest.  Good Reads is another site for quotes from books (clouds parting, angels singing).

Okay, so that's not the sappy quote you thought it was going to be, but I bet you giggled :) 

However, this is one of my favorites...

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Have a fabulous day!

B Friendly

This is quite possibly the best quote I've found on the subject, and expresses exactly how I feel :)

Have a fabulous day!

Week 4

Can you believe we're almost halfway through our 8 Weeks? Time flies, and week 4 is all about who you're with to get you through those flying times.

Friends.

We can't live without them, and anyone who is, isn't having half as much fun. This is what I think of when I hear the word friend:

Comfort

Laughter

Advice

Venting

Email, Texting, Pinning, Facebooking, and now Twittering

Giggles

Inappropriateness

Books

Love

The list really could go on forever. Your friends are the family you choose... I have that on a card on my fridge, and it's 100% true. I would be lost without my friends to get me through each day (sometimes the next hour). So, this week will be a celebration of our friends, for our friends. Consider this week my love letter to you all.



I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing. ~Katherine Mansfield

So your homework for the week is to find the quotes, sayings, and pictures that remind you of your friends. Each day, after your gratitude list, search the web or books. Pinterest will be a dream for this task. Tweet them, text them, post them to facebook. Celebrate your friendships this week and give thanks to them for always being there.

This is going to be a fun week :) Have a good one!

B Something

I'd done a post like this in the past and loved it, but the blog crash in 2011 deleted it. So I thought it needed a revival, and it just so happens to fit in with my theme this week.

If you've been into one of our Biggbys in the past few years (I know you have!), you may have noticed their marketing push for the trademark B they have.

B Happy
B Generous
B Sweet

To me this is genius, and I've often wondered if anyone loved this as much as I do.  For whatever reason, it just makes me happy to go in there and see this stuff (I have yet to buy something because I can't choose!)

What are you going to B when you grow up?  Hands down, this is one of my favorite questions.  There are just so many possibilities of what we can B and do, and on occasion, I like to take a moment and answer that question.

Soooo, for your homework today, you will jot down some things you would like to B either now, tomorrow, or when you grow up :)

B Fabulous
B Amazing
B Writing
B Helpful
B Outgoing

What will you B today?

mirrors

Now that we know that unconditional love isn't about looks or money, it's time to turn it around to yourself.  I have always believed that our friends are mirrors and merely reflections of our selves.  When we instantly connect with someone, it's because we're seeing ourselves in them and like those qualities.  That's why you can't truly love someone else without loving yourself first.

So, todays homework is the same as yesterday, but instead the list will consist of the qualities you love in your SELF.  Now without looking at yesterday's list I'm going to do the same thing.

1. Inspired
2. Tough
3. Funny
4. Thoughtful
5. Loyal
6. Loving
7. Intuitive
8. Happy
9. Hard working
10. Good Mom

Okay, I'll admit that a part of me is cringing at this exercise and putting it out there.  Anyone else care to share? Think about this throughout the day and add to your list when you come up with something new.  The list can be endless!

Have a fabulous day.

Perfection

per·fec·tion

   /pərˈfɛkʃən/ Show Spelled[per-fek-shuhn] noun

1.the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2. the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3. a perfect embodiment or example of something.

4. a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5. the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

The magazines would have you believe that you can gain the perfect life in 10 Easy Steps!  I have found that in 10 easy steps I can make a batch of cookies.  

Which one is more perfect?

Why is it we expect so much of ourselves and so little of those around us that we love?  Really quick, name 5 people (not related to you) that you love unconditionally and would do anything for.

Okay, are those on your list perfect?  And by perfect, I mean they do no wrong; They don't overeat, overspend, and always win mother of the year.  Are any of your unconditionals perfect?  Chances are, they're not, and that's why you love them so much.  People who are perfect (or pretending to be) are annoying and usually so self-absorbed they don't have many friends.  Sure, they look good, but c'mon, is that what you really want out of life?

Today's homework is for you to make a list of the qualities that you hold highest in your friends and loved ones.  What are the traits that make them perfect to you?  Here's mine:

1. Humor
2. Empathy
3. Sarcasm
4. Generous
5. Happy
6. Positive
7. Honesty
8. Loving
9. Real
10. Loyal

What is on your list?  Have a fabulous day :)

Week 3

We have learned to let go, and hopefully continue to do that.

We have learned the power of gratitude and how a change in perspective can change your life.  Literally.

Now I want to give you the power of acceptance.

Week 3:  Working with what you've got.

So often we feel like we will be happier, smarter, more productive when we _________________.  I'll let you fill in the blank.  For me, everything would be perfect if I were skinny, and it's been that way since I was 17.

I was skinny at 17.

Only I didn't see it then, and I've been beating myself up and putting life on hold for more than half my life.  I dismiss compliments like flies and can find fault with pretty much everything I do.  Everything.

I'm starting to believe that life begins when you are 100% yourself and completely okay with that.  At some point you will have to make a choice, pick sides, and be who you want to be.  It sounds simple, but it's not.  For some it's hell.

So, as with every week, you'll have homework, but unlike the past two weeks, I'll post something different each day starting tomorrow morning.  For tonight, I just want you to think about one thing that you love about your self.  It can be anything from baking to your sense of humor.  Think about what compliments you get and really savor them as truths and not just words.

By the end of this week, you're going to see your self as others see you... with love.  And that's when the fun really begins.

Week 2

So, hopefully the exercises you worked on last week were helpful.  Letting go is an ongoing process, and one that you should almost practice daily.  Once you've let go of the BIG stuff, the daily issues will be easier to notice and handle.  Just try to figure out if your moods are swinging because of something in the present or the past, and you'll be more relaxed in life.  More relaxed = Happier :)

Now we move into Week 2, which is all about Gratitude, and oddly enough, it's the single most important week of all.  I have found over the years, to start with letting go, because so many people are holding onto past issues and can never see the beauty before their very eyes.  Once we get rid of the junk, we gain clarity.

And gratitude will set the standard for the rest of the weeks.  Consider it the base of the triangle in our happiness pyramid.  Without it, everything else will crumble to the ground.

Homework:  Do as many or as few as you want, as long as you do at least one thing every day.

1. Every morning, write a list of 10+ things you are grateful for (can be done in the evening as well.)
2. Send a friend a letter (friend, spouse, child, co-worker) or note of why you are grateful for them.  You can do this once, or pick someone different each day.
3. When you get in bed, think about your day and pick one thing that really made you feel good.
4. For one day, try to sincerely thank everyone who helps you out.  Look them in the eye, and make sure they know you mean it.
5. Start a gratitude journal, and write in it every day.  Only good things in this journal, no negative stuff.
6. Save the photo above, and make it your background on your phone.  Every time you check your phone, think of something your're thankful for in that moment.  

I know it seems like you have to write a lot on this journey, but I truly believe that the act of writing will connect you to yourself, and uncover who you're supposed to be.  

It's show week, so hopefully I'll be checking in at some point.  If not, do your homework and I'll see you in week 3!

Have a fabulous week :)

baggage

My least favorite thing about vacations might be the moment we get home, and the suitcase will sit there waiting to be cleaned out for days - okay, sometimes a week.  Two weeks max.

I simply dread that instant 3 loads of laundry you'll get when you empty it, or having to figure out what's clean or dirty.  Then having to put the summer stuff away because you won't need it for months, blah, blah, blah.

It's adding insult the the fact that your vacation ended and real life begins again.  Our baggage will sit in our walkway by the desk, daring us to not trip over it for that time.  Our baggage mocks us.

As I'm starting the 8 Weeks challenge, I'm noticing our personal baggage does the same thing.  It's in the way, whether we know it or not, and time and time again, we'll trip over it during our normal day.  You'll catch a song, or read a quote, or maybe see someone at a distance that triggers a memory.  A not-so-good memory and boom, we're pissed off, sad, or doubtful again (circle one).  We are constantly stubbing our toe on our personal baggage, and most of the time we don't even realize why we're mad.  We just go about our day, taking out our mood swing on everyone around us.

I truly think that once we clean out the baggage once and for all, these mood "shifts" will subside, and you can get on with your day dealing with the task at hand.  Life is tough enough on a daily basis without past memories haunting us.  It's time to put the luggage away, let go of the past, and keep the happy memories in a very special corner where you can reach them any time.

They don't call it forgive and forget for no reason.  Forgive yourself or someone else, and let it be something that makes you stronger instead of tearing you down.

Now empty that suitcase!