Finding Gratitude

I'm feeling like I'm in the movie Finding Nemo, and I'm the dad.  And instead of looking for Nemo though, I'm searching for gratitude.  I know, I know, this is what I preach, the base of what I know to be true and real, for the past few years.

And yet I'm searching.

It seems this year has been about growth for me, and growing pains are hell.

With a broken-family Thanksgiving and a hockey tournament on Friday, life seems to be throwing me a curveball.  God is saying "find your gratitude in this mess," and I can finally see that.  I have never been so anxious to get a few days over with, and yet I really don't want to be that person anymore who wishes the days away.  I want to try and enjoy the process of cooking for my family and spending time with them.  I want them to say it was an awesome Thanksgiving, filled with good food and new traditions.

I don't want them to say 'that turkey sucks.'

Life is messy and rarely goes how we planned it.  If we can get through the tough times with gratitude in our hearts, then we can expect to be happier all the time.  And if we can remember to stay in the moment instead of stressing about the future, we will also be happier all the time.

Isn't that really what it's all about... being happier?

My wish for you is to have a wonderful Thanksgiving, spent with those you love, wrapped in a gratitude blanket.

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert

And just like that, I can see gratitude.

Thank you for reading :)

Nothing

Nothing.

Today, I am thankful for nothing... but that's not how it sounds.

Nothing to do.

No where to be.

No one in the house.... mostly because I kicked them out.

I have a glass of wine, and The Notebook is on.

Basically, this is perfection.

I haven't had a whole lot of nothing in my life lately, so this is one of those nights I'm trying to relax.  And so I write, because I feel somewhat guilty for not keeping this up as much as I'd like.

Yes, that's considered relaxing for me.  To say I'm wound tightly is an understatement lately.  And by lately, I mean always.  Does anyone else have this problem?  I know the main problem is I work to make money, but what I want to do is write.  I want to be a perfect mother (an oxymoron if you ask me), and I also want to lose weight.  Is it possible to be everything to everyone, including myself, and still get what I want?

Writing a novel is a lot like learning to walk or even to skate for that matter.  One step at a time.  One paragraph, one sentence, one word at a time.  And soon, you have chapters, and characters, and more story lines than I know what to do with.  Running a 5k starts also by taking one step at at time.  Being a good parent is taking one decision at a time.

For those of you who know me, patience is not exactly my strongest of traits.  I don't want to take one step, I want it done now.  I want the book done (and perfectly so I don't have revisions), I want to jump out and run thirty minutes straight, and I want my kids to not only be their charming selves, but excellent student athletes as well.

I suppose this is how we learn to grow.  We go against the grain of what we know, what feels right, and soon we're doing the things we've only dreamed about.  Sometimes it takes a nudge.  Other times it takes a shove.  We have to learn to trust the process and let things unravel, no matter how slow, and especially when it feels like we're doing everything completely wrong.

I know I'm not the only one in this wicked world wondering how they will get through the next day.  We get up and push through each day, because our lives would not be complete without the dreams.

But every now and then you have to find some time to do nothing... even if it's not really nothing at all.

Have a fabulous week friends!

Revenge

It somehow doesn't seem like a good thing to be grateful for revenge, but if loving revenge is wrong I don't wanna be right.

Like, ever.

And the fact that they have it on Sunday night which is pretty much the one night I need a show, my show, to be on... well that's just divine intervention.

I mean, really.  Does it get better than this?  Today, and every day, I am grateful for Revenge.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I really have to go before it comes on!

Have a fabulous week!

Sisters

Today's post is about sisters.

Good sisters.
Bad sisters.
Sisters-in-law.
Sisters of another mother.

I cannot imagine what my life would be like without my sister, and it breaks my heart to know some have this  cross to carry.  My sister has literally picked up the torch that my mom carried for so long.  Instead of Grammy Days, we have Cathy Days.  She loans me money.  She worries about me and the boys.  And she tries to fix absolutely everything in my life.

On those days when I'm feeling lower than usual, she'll call.  I swear she has a radar.  In short, she's my angel here on earth.

Does she still drive me crazy sometimes?  Of course.
Will I get mad over stupid things?  Duh..
Will she always be my sister.  Absolutely.

So, today, if you get a chance, be grateful for the sisters in your life, wherever they may be <3

Gratitude

In the spirit of November, the month we give thanks, I'd like to take the opportunity (and by opportunity, I mean challenge) to write about what I'm grateful for everyday. These won't be long and wordy, but more spontaneous and fun.

To start this month off, I am sitting at Biggby waiting for Blake's practice to be done. I was originally excited when Toby asked me to take him because I knew I'd end up here... writing.

Then Evan wanted to come with me.

So I made him bring his homework and sat him at a separate table, because he's full of distractions lately. I bought us both coffees, mine decaf, his not so much. And honest to God, I've never seen him so focused. He's gone through two pages of paper himself writing furiously. At one point he looked up and said, "Why haven't we done this before?"

I don't have the heart to tell him I come here once a week.

But it's nice to know that we can at least do something together where I don't want to kill him.

So today, I am grateful for Biggby. For bringing my son and I together for one happy caffeine-induced hour.

B Grateful.

6-Word Wednesday

I woke up today, and literally wanted to stay in bed all day.  After doing yoga yesterday going to a movie last night, I am the dreadful combination of sore and tired.  And no, I don't feel sore and tired... I literally am the walking definition of Sore and Tired.

Living on the corner of Sore and Tired, if you will.

So I needed a pick me up, because staying in bed all day really isn't an option.  I have found youtube to be the best way to find something to either inspire me or at least make me laugh.  Today, I went with the laughs.

I really started to think about laughter because it has been a significant part of my life for as long as I can remember.

My mom had that laugh.  The Garmyn laugh people called it.
I was the little girl with the big laugh.
The most miserable moments of my life has been lightened by laughter.
I married a man who could (and still does) make me laugh.
Laughter connects us, frees us from trouble (even if for a moment), and can mend a broken heart.

In short (6 words, in fact):

Life's short.  Laugh with your friends.

And by friends, I mean Friends.  Enjoy this clip I found.  I know it's a little long, so shut the office door, turn the volume up, and laugh.

You deserve it today.

Weekend Reads

I started to read something on Friday that I picked up from the library, and I almost put it back because it's one of those smart books that really makes you think.  And let's be honest, I'm usually trying to escape from my thinking.

The book is called Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and this it will make you think...but after reading a couple pages, I started to poke around online about the author, and looked at a couple videos she had mentioned in the book at Ted.com.  And they're good.  Really, kinda life-changing good.

Basically, I'm hooked.

Are the topics she talks about fun?  No.

Is it uncomfortable to think about.  Absolutely.

Will you feel better after reading and watching these videos?  100% yes.

The courage it takes to be that honest in this society is something we should all strive for.  I've had it with people who pretend their lives are perfect and hide what they're really feeling, including myself.  No, I don't want to sit with someone who isn't ever happy or grateful, but that's something different.  This is about owning up to your life, good-bad-and ugly, with acceptance.

I can't wait to keep reading.

Here's her website if you want to learn more.